This is a phrase that I’ve heard hundreds of times over the past 30 years…one that has been uttered by individuals of all ages and all kinds of jobs.
Oddly enough, in my experience, it is often expressed by individuals who have high-paying jobs—they often start out in school with the intention of working in a field that aligns with their values and priorities, such as healthcare, international law, the arts, entertainment, social services, non-profit, green energy, and such.
But in their 20s, they land a lucrative job in a completely different field (e.g. hi-tech) just at a time when they need money to pay off debt, make car payments, pay rent, and so on. Their job often requires a lot of time and energy so they have nothing left at the end of the workday to cultivate their ideals, or develop their hobbies and interests, or nurture their relationships and families—nothing left to do “soul care.”
They are usually reliable, dependable, competent people who are recognized and rewarded by their employers for doing a good job…so they get use to a certain lifestyle that is supported by a job that they do well but don’t enjoy.
Many of them will stick with their “golden handcuffs” until they can retire or cash out. I often meet them when they hit a crisis, e.g. they are laid off, or they get sick and can’t return to work, or their employer relocates and they can’t move with their job, etc.
On the one hand, they are often relieved to get out of “the trap”; but on the other hand, the prospect of finding or doing another kind of job is frightening to say the least.
What is your soul?
So, what do people mean when they use this phrase, “This job sucks my soul”? I suggest that what they are saying in this context of work is that they feel they are losing their self, their individuality–dare I say, losing what makes them unique, sacred, or special to themselves and others. In this sense, if they lose their soul, they disappear from us.
The soul then is not just some immaterial or spiritual part of us. Instead, it is the sum total of all our parts but greater than the sum of those parts. Human beings are many things–physical, emotional, thinking, social, and spiritual beings, as well as moral, ethical, cultural, and storytelling beings.
I think these people know instinctively, intuitively that the soul isn’t the single most important part of you because it isn’t a part: it is you. You are your soul. When we come down to the individuality of a person, we are looking into their soul. It is inextricably linked to our life and how we live our lives.
When someone says, “This job sucks my soul!”, it is easy to toss it off as an exaggerated complaint. But I know too well that career pain is real, that our work issues often mask existential issues: Who am I? Why am I here? What is the purpose of all this?
Soul and career
The word “career” is derived from the Latin root carrus meaning “wheeled vehicle.” When we start out in our career, we become part of a universal journey paradigm—finding our way in the world, or finding our soul, or finding our way home.
I know that we are now getting into the realms of philosophy and metaphysics but I take work complaints seriously. And I take the questions they provoke more seriously. After all, your life is at stake.
Finding your soul is really about making choices and decisions. I hope that I can help you make them.